Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Week 12 Storytelling: Mango Tree Travels


“Grandpa, why must we walk to this tree again?” asked Danzell.

“The route that we must take is not quite suitable for an automobile,” responded Bhoj.

“And how many hours will it take us to get there?” implored Kuroff.

“About 7,” said Bhoj.

“Ahh, that’ll take forever!” whined the boys.

“Hush, now you both wanted to go,” added Kirsa. “Hurry and eat your breakfast so that you can head out before dawn.”

They gathered their travel gear and headed west for the mango tree just as the sun breached the horizon. Luckily, the path they were set to travel was lined with mature sandalwoods; they would be spared some of the parching sunlight of a typical Indian summer day.

“Grandpa, my feet already hurt,” exclaimed Danzell half an hour into their trip.

“Oh my, what have I gotten myself in to?” thought Bhoj.

The three made their way through countryside on the tranquil dirt path. A calming breeze at their backs made it easier for the boys to handle the walk.

Just as the three began to hear to the Ganges off in the distance they came across a familiar face.

“Bhoj, what a pleasant surprise!” shouted Rasalu, Bhoj’s longtime comrade.

The two exchanged a hand shake and hug that only true friendship can elicit. The boys hadn’t seen their grandfather smile that big in quite some time.

“Well, who are these two handsome lads?” said Rasalu jovially. “Surely they can’t be kin to someone as ugly as you.”

The boys glanced at one another and broke out in the type of laughter that wrenches your stomach.

“He’s our Grandpa,” said Kuroff.

“Well, where are the three of you headed?” beseeched Rasalu.

“The mango tree,” responded Bhoj.

“That must be close to half a day’s commute from here on foot!” quipped Rasalu.

 “Would you like to take my elephants? I’ll come along, too; I haven’t been to that wonderful tree in years. We would cut travel time in half.”

Bhoj looked at the boys seeking their approval.

“Yeah!” rumbled both boys jumping up and down.

“Very well, let us go and prepare them for travel,” said Rasalu.

The four then set off on the trail towards the mango tree on elephant.

“Wait till we tell Dad what we did at Grandpa’s this summer!” proclaimed Kuroff.

“He’ll be so jealous,” added Danzell.

The boys were now able to enjoy the scenery from a marvelous vantage point as they made their way west. They crossed the Ganges and began on the low incline at the base of mountain range.

“Let us stop and enjoy the scenery,” said Bhoj.

“Of course,” agreed Rasalu.

They continued in this fashion of stopping and enjoying the marvelous views all the way to the peak of the mountain.

“The MANGO tree,” shouted the boys as they breached the zenith.

 

                                                                             Mango Tree

Rasalu commanded the elephants to lower themselves so that the boys could hop off.

They both then darted off to touch the tree and look out over the summit of the mountain.

“Wow, Grandpa was telling the truth,” exclaimed Danzell, “there is an entire valley full of people just on the base of this mountain.”

Rasalu, taken back by the boys’ enthusiasm for the lei tree, asked, “How in the world do you have these boys so excited to explore nature?”

Bhoj responded, “Oh, you know. I still tell my tall tales from time to time.”

 
Author's note: I wrote this story in third person so that I could provide the reader with the perspectives off all characters. I hoped to be able to illustrate an adventure that took place in the Raja Rasalu unit. I didn't make any significant changes to the story. What I did do was expand upon the section of the story from their journey on the way to the mango tree.
 
Bibliography: Swynnerton, Charles. Adventures of the Punjab Hero Raja Rasalu.


 

5 comments:

  1. Hey Lace, you did a great job but there are some things you probably need to fix in your story. You forgot to capitalize towards the end of the story when the dialogue began with "there" it needs to be "There." Also for your bibliography, if you can just expand or tell us a short summary of Raja Rasulu that would be great. Since you're doing the un textbook version. Other people need to know the story.

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  2. Lance,

    I think you do a great job of segregating your stories. For example, I do not take the opportunity to read every story of yours, but each time I come back I am able to jump in and not feel lost (yet you keep your theme well enough that I remember the characters). Your use of dialogue is probably the most distinguished that I have seen.

    Good job!

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  3. Lance! Great job on your story ! It is nice to read a brand new story once in a while. I like how you used a lot of dialogues because it keeps the story alive. Because it was a new story, I enjoyed the every detail of the story. I think it would've been nice if you had a overview paragraph which explains the story in general. Great job :)

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  4. Hello again, Lance! I love Mango trees! This story is very interesting! I enjoyed how the whole thing is pretty much dialogue. I learned throughout the semester how much better a story can be when you include dialogue instead of saying he said this or she said that. It makes the story much more enjoyable for the audience and you did a great job at it! I thought your author's note was very informative and important since I never have had the chance to read the original story. It gives the readers the insight necessary to understand your story retelling.

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  5. Great post. thanks for the shared with us. melange grey

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