“Search
for Sita in every nook and corner.” This was the only fragment of instruction
young Kahi heard Rama give as he prepared the monkey armies to traverse the
land in search for Sita.
Before
sunrise they following day they snuck out of their comfortable living quarters
in the city center. Making their way into the newly sprung foliage, all three
of their faces gleamed with excitement. “Ah, what a great smell,” said Kahi in
reference to the pine scent of the forest. Twigs cracked, the moist grounds
sunk, rivers rushed, and birds chirped as they made their way south towards the
great water. “You said that Sita was carried over the water, right?” Remarked
Kahi, sporting an inquisitive expression. Leali, knowing just where this series
of inquiries was heading, said “the bushes along the beach where we’re heading
bear rare fruits. Fruits which, when eaten, afford the ability to hold ones
breath for days.” Kahi and Anka looked at one another in a frightened manner. “I’ve
done it before. Don’t worry,” encouraged Leali.
While
the youngsters sat on the beach on ate of the fruit, Hanuman and his raucous
army showed up. Frightened by the punishment that might be handed down, the
three attempted to make a break back into the forest. “Halt or we’ll shoot!”
shouted a soldier. “Aren’t you three adolescents the descendants of Karkeez?
You live in our village, do you not?” probed another. Kahi, frightened at how
upset his elders would be, pleaded, “We can help. There is no way you can cross
this body of water as is. Eat of this fruit and you’ll be able to trek thru it.”
“What do you mean ‘trek thru it?” probed the soldier. “Well, you see, these
allow you to be able to hold your breath for days. Given that amount of time,
you can walk right across the bottom and surprise the enemy on the other side,”
exclaimed Kahi. After much debate, Hanuman and Rama agreed that this was the
best option. “However, you three must go back to the city and watch after your
younger siblings. I will not place three adolescents in direct harm,” demanded
Rama.
The monkey
army, utilizing the idea presented by Kahi, slipped into the water under the
moonlight and capitalized on the element of surprise-- defeating Ravana and his
army while they slept.
Author's note:
I wrote this story in third person in order to afford the reader with what these three adolescents hoped to accomplish. It is very much like a younger person to attempt to do something all by themselves. Although the kids didn't quite accomplish their task, they were able to serve their army. This story provided an alternative means by which the monkey army defeated Ravana. The actual epic claimed that the monkey army scoured southern India in search for Sita and only came to the southernmost edge once they encountered Sampathi. My changes to the original story include the method by which the army crossed the ocean as well as how the final battle unfolded. I thought that these changes would serve as a refreshing twist in the tale as no adolescents had been heavily involved aside from Rama. The image that I selected was taken from a Google search. It was an illustration of what I thought the monkey army would look like as they ate the fruit to prepare to cross the ocean. My hope with all of my blog posts is to be able to include an image that readily depicts the significant occurrences within the tale.
Hey Lance! I think your idea to tell a story about three young monkeys in Rama's army was really unique and original. I can't help but think about how adorable they must have looked when trying to locate Sita!! Especially since the monkey in your picture is so cute. Overall, I really liked your story. I bet it was as fun to read as it was to write.
ReplyDeleteLance,
ReplyDeletethere are a few things in your story that I want to point out. Firstly, there are a few typos/missing words. It messes up the flow of the story, so try and proofread it out loud to better catch those mistakes! Secondly, I felt as though the story came to an end rather abruptly. It would have been great if the three would have gone on to finish the adventure themselves rather than be stopped by Rama. Lastly, as far as format goes, I would suggest breaking up the dialogue into different paragraphs. It will allow for the dialogue to be read as dialogue rather than just narration.
I really liked the three different characters who all seemed to complement one another. I really enjoyed the change in the story about how Ravana and his army was defeated. It seems a more tactical strategy than just an all out bloody war. Good creative choice!
Lance, your story is really creative. It was an interesting choice to change the way Rama's army crossed the ocean, and I liked it. Also, it's not easy creating three new characters from scratch, but you did a great job with it. You selected a good photo to go with the story. I like how it even incorporates the fruit that was so important in the content of the story.
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